I won't be posting my letter to my parents but I am going to write it...
edit: I will post one letter...
Dear Daddy,
I miss you more than words can express! My life changed Nov. 2, 1997 and I blamed myself for so long. I remember the day like it was yesterday, I faked sick so I didn't have to go to church (it was communion Sunday so we were destined to be there ALL DAY LONG and I had a project due for school)...I remember being in the kitchen washing dishes and blasting my Outkast Aquemini cd and you were in your room sleeping, mom had went to the store since I'd ruined your "date day" she was going to get neckbones and cigarettes. I heard you cough and gag so I called your name, no response, I went in your room to see you in distress...I panicked, didn't really know what to do so I dragged you off the bed on to the floor to do what? I have no clue but I began chest compressions, you looked at me in despair and I ran and called Tilly, she's a nurse, I'm sure she would be able to help my daddy...Help my daddy, I screamed in the phone...she came and I called 911, while she worked on you I repeatedly paged mama (this was before cellphones) 911, 911, 911... I remember running down the street to mama in nothing but some purple gym shorts and a raggedy tshirt, in NOVEMBER in CHICAGO...the cold meant nothing to me as I screamed "drop the damn cart and hurry, my daddy is sick" as she made her way in the gate the EMTs were bringing you out, mama hopped in with you and that was the last time I saw you until your funeral...I remember going down to Aunty's while they went to the hospital, I still remember the phone call as I comforted Marshall, and them telling you didn't make it...I didn't want to hear that so I hung up the phone...My daddy was dead?! What the fuck am I going to do now? Not my daddy, not my best friend...Its crazy, I remember those few hours so vividly but the next week or so is a total blur, I remember crying myself to sleep that night in the bed with my Ethel...I remember going to school the next day as if nothing happened, until it was time to present and I broke down because I didn't have it...Why? Ms. Carr wanted to know and I calmly said "My daddy died yesterday"....everyone looked at me like I was crazy because I was in school but I knew you wouldn't want me sitting around crying like a "lil punk" I couldn't act "butter soft" as you would always tell me when I started crying about some foolishness....your funeral came, I remember thinking you would have a fit if you knew they had u in a suit...you would have been much more comfortable in the that funky black and gray sweater with the leather patches, man you loved that sweater lol, couldn't tell you that you weren't sharp! But you looked nice and dapper in your gray suit, all that was missing was your Dobbs. I kissed you and said my goodbyes, knowing I was forever going to be daddy's girl.
The months passed, months turned to years and the pain has yet to subside, I think of all the occassions you missed, my prom (I was fly!), high school graduation (I could totally see you standing there grinning from ear to ear screaming "Poodah!!!"), going away to college, of course I picked SIU for you, coming home...the birth of my twins, Kai looks just like you and Mikayla would have you wrapped around her little finger, I already know she'd be spoiled rotten; college graduations...the birth of Corey and me growing into a woman...I feel cheated that you weren't there for all of those moments but I realize you were needed more in heaven. Daddy, I am so thankful for the 17 years I had with you, I love to say that I had my daddy in my life from my first breathe to his last. You were a rare breed and I only wish I'd found someone like you to father my children...the impact that you have made on so many people leaves me with pride as I hear my cousins speak of the impact you made, no one ever has anything bad to say about my daddy and it makes me swell with pride to have had first hand knowledge of the greatness that was you! I miss you and love you with every fiber of my body, continue to watch over us!!!
Love you Always & Forever
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