Letter Challenge to be continued...

I'm enjoying the letter challenge but I had to take a break from them because they have gotten kind of heavy and I need to clear my head & heart and let go of the things I've been holding back for a while, not to mention my time online has been sparse, that's crazy because I used to stay connected and now its like whatever...but I'll continue in a bit...

Day 10: Someone you don't talk to as much as you like

Hey Lil Brother,

I hate that we don't talk like we used to, I realize how much I miss our late night convos, you were one of the few people who actually GET me, I guess because I'm the female version of you.  Its crazy how we've grown apart to almost the role of acquaintances instead of brother/sister but know that I'm always here for you, I'm rooting for you and I've always got you and your family in my thoughts!  Although we aren't as close as we were you are forever my brother and I will forever have love for you!!!

Peace & Blessings
Your Sis from another Mrs...

Day 9: Someone I wish I could meet

Dear You: 

We have replayed this scenario so many times and I'm sure u know that part by heart but my ultimate  goal is to spend a day with you and just enjoy being in your presence, I only need 1 day to just lay in your arms and be, to simply know that sometimes fairy tales do come true...to hear you say the things you tell me daily, while gazing in those gorgeous eyes of yours lol.  I'm going to make this brief because you already know my heart!!!

Until the that day...I'll always be
Your Girl :)

Day 8: Favorite Internet Friend

This is kinda hard since most of my friends on the "internet" are my real life friends as well...and for the sake of not repeating the same person multiple times I'll give the title to my sista...

Dear Girlie:

Can you believe its been 7 freaking years?!  Who would have thought that dropping in on a parenting board would lead to me having real friendships with such a diverse group of women.  While they all were cool people we seemed to be the odd ones out, the black sheeps of the group, the single mamas lol.  Our friendship grew from our common bond of being single parents and dealing with the dumb shit that our children's other parents put us through and the fact that we've both been through similar things.  Its crazy that I'll you my deepest secrets and know that 9 times out of 10 you've been there too...you have been my ear when I needed to vent, scream and cry and at the end of the day you let me know that it's ok and I'm doing a great job!  Thank you for being my friend, I am so proud of you and so proud to call you my friend.

Peace & Blessings

Day 7: Letter to an Ex

This is a 2 part deal...

Dear You & You:

For so long I hated you both, or so I thought...until I realized I can't hate you because without you I wouldn't have my greatest gifts on this earth.  My hate was replaced with pity because it sucks that you are missing out on the pleasure of knowing these great little people!  Each day is an adventure and I'm so enjoying the ride...Times get hard but we make it through each of them!  We are enjoying our journey learning together and truthfully I'm glad that you couldn't handle the responsibility because I'm selfish, I wouldn't want to share them with you!  So I guess this is a thank you letter!!! Thank you both for not being man enough to handle your business, thank you for walking away because you left room for a real man to step up and step in your shoes.  Most importantly thanks for your seeds because that was the best part of you lol and without it I would have never meet the perfect parts of me!  I wish you both the best of luck, hopefully one day in your future you will get it your shit together and possibly make a difference in some of your several kids lives, but as for mine, they will be just fine, even better without you!!! 

Peace & Blessings

Dear _______

You were my first, true love...you taught me that it was ok to love and be loved and then just like it started it was over.  Its crazy that we had 2 wonderful years together but over the matter of 2 months things fell apart...I often wonder why?!  What happened that made things go from great to nonexistent?  

What happened to us?  We were damn near inseparable, I mean if I wasn't at your house you were at mine and if we weren't laid up we were on the phone...and then that day happened, you introduced me as your FRIEND...damn dude, just your friend?!  I know we never put a title on what we had but your "friend" like seriously? What we had surpassed friendship, you knew it as well as I did...but we were both scared...we felt there was no need for labels...until u labeled me...Damn, just ur friend? Are you freaking kidding me?  After all we'd been through I was just a friend...that shattered my heart and I'll be honest, it made me step back.  Since I was simply your friend there was no need for you to be my everything, no need for me to wake up with you on my mind and in my heart or going to bed with you in my ear or in your arms...fuck it, I'm just his friend so why am I going to play the wifey role...I started playing back all the conversations we'd had about what you wanted in your mate and I had all the qualities, except one...damn I'd never be a Trini...and you told me from the beginning you'd never consider wifing anyone but a Trini gyal because they are the only ones who'd truly understand you...that memory pushed me to start doing me and apparently you started doing you because the calls soon stopped, visits, yeah right...then when you did call I was with asshole (see above is ur fault lmao) and when I finally called you were with her...and I knew that was it...damn, its been 7 years and I still miss you...I still wonder what life would be like if we had let go of our stubborn ways, would the twins be yours?  I always told you how much you reminded me of my daddy and they say a girl will fall in love with a man who reminds her of her dad and I did...you were my soulmate, the one who got away...its crazy, I ran because you called me your friend but now I'd kill just to be your friend again...I miss you and you have no idea of the impact you made on my life and I thank you for that!  I wishes came true I'd wish for just 1 day with you to relive the past and put closure on it, even when I think I'm over you I find myself remembering all the smiles, I still hear your voice and see your dimples, I remember your scent and how I'd never felt so safe and secure like I did when wrapped in your arms.  When I last spoke with you I heard something in your voice, you didn't sound like the same cheerful you...you spoke of her like a burden, not the love of your life more like an obligation...I simply hope and pray that you are happy.  Miss you!!!

Love You Always!!! 

Day 6: Stranger

Dear Stranger:

This is strange, I don't know you but I hope if I ever meet you I leave a positive lasting impression on you.  I hope that you see the me that others neglect to see, to hear the words that they fail to listen to...I hope that you touch my life and I'll touch yours in a way that is totally unforgettable.  I don't know you but I love you and I hope for nothing but the best!!!

Peace & Blessings

Day 5: My Dreams

I got thrown off track...life does that and this is literally the first time I've sat down on the computer since Friday at work so here comes days 5, 6, & 7.

To My Dreams:

"What happens to a dream deferred?  Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?  Or fester like a sore then run..."-Langston Hughes

My, my have you changed since my childhood!  I remember wanting to be a lawyer, until I realized I'd have to actually speak in front of people on a daily basis...from there I thought I'd go into business but I hate math and then came my desire to help people, whether in teaching, social work or what I ended up studying in school, speech pathology...along the way my plans changed, life got rough, money must be made to feed my babies and care for my house and it seems I've forgotten all about you...but I haven't...I still think of you often but fear is keeping me from you.  When I prepare to reach out and grasp you fear takes a hold of me and binds my hands. I will one day fight the fear, grasp hold to you and accomplish it all!!! This is simply temporary, I will not let you dry up like a raisin in the sun, I will fulfill each and every single dream I've had...it's my time to shine...watch and see!

Peace & Blessings!!!