Unfortunately I have no one who I can say is my best friend. Its kinda sad that at 30 years old I don't have a best friend, I have my friends who all play an important part in my life in whatever capacities they hold but there is no one who I can claim as my best friend; now that I think about it I don't believe I've had a true best friend since grade school but we grew up and outgrew each other, with high school came the end of the weekend sleepovers, the 3way calling our crush and giggling all night. Then came high school, I was simply existing, thats when I came into my anti-social socialite lifestyle, I was cool with everyone, everyone knew me but at the same time no one really knew me at all. College was the same way, I left home with these grand dreams of making lifelong friendships and almost did but again, life took over and we lost contact. It was then I took on the mind-frame that maybe I just wasn't cut out to have female friends, I'd probably never have that sisterly bond, that camaraderie that is depicted in books and movies, so I settled for being the girl who kept nothing but male friends, which was cool until sex came into play lmao...either they wanted it or I wanted it or we both wanted & did it and things went downhill lol. I can say that during that time I was blessed with the one person I do/did consider my best friend, our relationship was toxic; the love/hate thing, yeah we had it down to a science but that was my heart, my soul, my best friend...and then sex ruined it...then he died without me ever telling him how much he meant to me.
Fast forward a few years, I still don't have a "best friend" but I have a core group of sisters who I love, although we may be separated by distance or our lives may not allow us to talk all day and night on the phone I know my sisters have my back whenever I need them as I do theirs. I know that I could never trivialize my friendship with each and everyone of them by placing a BFF title on any because they are all awesome, they all serve a specific purpose in my life and at 30 years old I can finally say I'm content, I'm not having a BFF because I have something so much greater, I have sisters who will check me when I'm tripping, calm me when I'm panicking, laugh when I'm silly, call me out for my bullshit, hold my secrets and let me know that I'm not the only one who has done dumb shit...for this I am grateful...as for the one and only to forever hold the title of my BFF I miss you & love you and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you (yeah, that could be due to the fact I named the holy terror after you...yes, I know that is all you terrorizing me in toddler form!)
Peace & Blessings...
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